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Fertilizer for Sale!

Fertilizer for Sale!

Fertilizer for Sale!
    Want that perfect green lawn for summer. Feeling envious of a neighbour? Try new Zomb-poo, the best fertilizer in the business. Zomb-poo is made from zombie manure and is chock full of the nutrients your lawn, and your garden need. In a trial study done by the Horticulture department, U. D. University, Zomb-poo helped plants grow to three times their normal size, and grass was undoubtably greener. This surpassed the other leading brands such as Undead-Miracle and Eternal Fertile.




    Come down to the local Home Depot and get your Zomb-poo 20% off if you mention this article.

Zombies?

 On the afternoon of July 13th, several corpses were reported to have risen from local cemeteries in the evning, and attacked people. The injured were taken to area hospitals, but died soon after. Local authorities have been quiet on the subject but people of the Charelvoix-Emmet area have taken to calling the risen creatures "Zombies", after similar beings in Romero flicks.
 By nightfall, TV 7&4 reported that the zombies were found in other counties across the state, and advised people to stay indoors at night, when the creatures were most active.
On the 14th, President Bush (jr.) made a speech indicating that this was nothing we needed to fear and it was all under control.
On the 15th, coverage hit the BBC, after a reporter was killed by one of the zombies. The zombie infestation had reached epic proportions, and curfew was mandatory, with anyone out after 10pm warned that they could be shot and killed. While reports continued, I didn't actually see a zombie until the 16th; and thought it was a hoax.
The zombies appear to be humans, bipedal, with elongated teeth, sunken eyes and pale skin. They are horrific to behold, and smell awful. Sound seems to attract them, though -judging from what I've seen from my upper story window- they are sight hunters. Yes- hunters. I personally witnessed several zombies hunting my drunken neighbors with wolf-like tactics, swarming and devouring the fools. Now, I don't like my neighbors, but I wouldn't have wished this on anyone. It was truly  horiffic.
Police arrived on the scene an hour later, and quickly backed off after the zombies charged.
So much for the local police...

CNN coverage of the Zombie Event

Blazin' Bushes!

Blazin' Bushes!

    At around 5:25 p.m., Thursday, May 24, 2007, a small fire ignited the bushes and mulch outside Pointes North Inn, Charlevoix. While the true culprits are not known, it is speculated that a careless driver's neglected cigarette started the mini-inferno.
     One of the men working on the inn's renovation project saw the beginnings of the blaze and quickly alerted the manager, who rushed out to access the damage. She came rushing back into the building with the exclamation of "FIRE!" on her lips before asking, rather insistently, for a room key; any room key. Having retrieved a key, she rushed off to the room to obtain water.
     Before long, other employees (even the interior decorator's son) were swarming out to look at and help extinguish the fire. Some were using 20 oz. bottles, while others were using plant pots filled with water.
     There were more than a few onlookers (tourists and such) who had decided that this would make a wonderful photo shoot to send back home to the family.
     Before long (in fact, even before the fire department could be called), the fire was put out.
     As the manager later said," All of Charlevoix seemed to turn out. This wasn't quite the publicity I was looking for." She proceeded to make a joke about a picture of the blaze in the local paper, right smack dab next to the inn.
     The reason the cigarette probably caught the wood chips on fire was because of how dry and hot out it had been during the week. Thankfully, the weather changed for the better overnight, with a much needed rain shower and a drop in temperature.

E. Runblud

    

Up North- Where are We?

Up North (rather like Down South) is a term used to refer to northern states in the U.S. Up North is often used to refer to the Upper Peninsula and the Northern Lower Peninsula of the state of Michigan, separating it from the Thumb and Southern part of the State. While often capitalized as if it were a proper place, there is no city or county called Up North. Grammar sticklers often get quite irate when they see up north written as "Up North".

TRIVIA
A Google search for "Up North" gets 1,680,000 entries, and the two terms out of parenthesis get
657,000,000.

LINKS
Michigan Accent Pronunciation Guide (http://www.michigannative.com/ma_home.shtml)
Urban Dictionary- Up North (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=up+north)

E. Runblud

A young woman, who's sense of sarcasm and cunning is establishing itself, and with a nose for interesting stories, E. Runblud is an adventurous girl ready to take on the world. Or, at least, the small pocket of populated area in her part of Northern Michigan. The stories of events she hears are more than enough to fire up her artist's brush and writer's pen.

Introducing Tristan Tzara

Name: Tristan Tzara
LJ: ttzara
Age: 25
Education: BFA (Art)

 Tristan Tzara is a spunky young chap, who enjoys writing and drawing. Tristan also enjoys sarcasm, wit and learning about the world around him and reading massive amounts of literature, and believes life should be taken seriously, but not too seriously.

POST: Maintainer of trueupnorth

Writing Guidelines

Writing Guidelines
Last Updated: 5/23/07

TAGS-
Poster Name, Fiction/Non-Fiction/Art/Random, Aritcle/essay/poetry
Ie:
Ttzara, Non-fiction, Article - generic article, not necessarily news
Ttzara, Non-fiction, News, Article - for a piece on local news
All Articles should be spell-checked, and given a once-over before submitting

WORD COUNT:
Keep articles, essays and short stories between 1-2,000 words, with no piece exceeding 5,000 words.
A Short Work is something under 1,000 words
FACT CHECKING:
Do your own!

FORMAT:
Tag appropriately
Put Titles, Headers and Subheaders in BOLD
Paragraphs should be indented 5 spaces, OR be separated by a space; and be aligned left.
Cite your Sources & provide links to related websites at the bottom, with Sources and Links headed in BOLD
ie
SOURCES
MLA format Here!
LINKS
Billybobs Web Page (http://whatever)